


Surprise! I'm Engaged

by youcanTry



Series: Surprise! [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Bruce Cracks, Crack, Engagement, Jason's canny intuition, M/M, Marriage, This Is STUPID, This whole thing is cracky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 07:17:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18655591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youcanTry/pseuds/youcanTry
Summary: How does one tell their family that they just got engaged to someone that they didn’t even know they were dating?





	Surprise! I'm Engaged

**Author's Note:**

> Where's Barbara? I don't know!  
> Enjoy(this complete garbage):)

Tim tried to calm his nerves as he peeked over the edge of his glass at his family. He was nineteen years old, legally of age, this really shouldn’t worry him.

He looked at the golden band on his finger(that he was subtly hiding behind his back), because _it does_. How does one tell their family that they just got engaged to someone that they didn’t even know they were dating?

Tim cleared his throat. _Now or never_. He really wished Kon was with him. Except for the fact that his fiance would probably get impaled by multiple specialty kryptonite batarangs.

Of course, no one listened to him, so he cleared his throat louder. As they continued to talk over him, Tim felt a sense of relief. _At least now I won’t-_

 _“_ I believe Master Timothy has something to say.” Alfred’s calm voice rang over the dinner table, effectively silencing everyone, as their eyes snapped to Tim.

He gulped. “I… have something to say.”

“Go on, Tim,” Dick smiled encouragingly.

“Yeah, Replacement. Wait, don’t tell me that you’ve finally come out of the closet and decided to run off to Paris to get married to your best friend.” Jason joked. Alfred chided him. Tim died a little inside.

“Don’t be silly, Todd. Drake may have his flaws, but he would never do something so remarkably idiotic.” Damian smirked, and Tim’s will to live slowly crumbled.

Bruce looked up at him,“ Ignore your brothers Tim. What would you like to say.”

“Uh. Well. Jason’s actually, uh, right…”

The silence was broken by a glass crashing against the floor. Alfred, who was standing by ready with a broom, immediately began to sweep it up.

“Master Damian, it seems as if Master Richard has lost control of his bodily functions. Please, right him in his seat, lest he falls out of it.” Damian obliged, while the rest of them stared at him in open-mouthed shock.

“You’re running off to Paris to get married,” Steph shrieked.

“No no no, I’m not running off to Paris.” Tim rushed to assuage, trying to ignore Bruce’s full body twitch when he didn’t deny the married part.

“Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne. Explain exactly what you mean.” He was using the Batman voice.

 “Uhm. Okay. So. Uh. I’m dating Superboy.”

Dick looked up, a wild look in his eyes. “How long, Timmy.”

Tim wished he could relieve his brother of his pain, but all he could do was stoke the fire. “Four years.”

“Nooooo.” This time he actually fell over, despite Damian’s best efforts.

Bruce looked like he was going to break out the kryptonite. Tim wished he didn’t have to, but it’s not like he can just hide it forever.

“And… uh.” He weakly lifted his hand, the one with the golden band on it. Dead silence.

“Holy shit. So you are getting married!” Jason shouted, jumping up in his seat as Dick gave a strangled cry from the floor. Damian looked at a loss for words(if Tim had known getting engaged would shut him up, he would have gotten married long ago).

He glanced over at Cassandra, who was trying to console Steph, before it became apparent that she was laughing(albeit slightly hysterically). As she began to subside into murmurs of ‘it all makes sense now’, he looked at his younger sister, who just shrugged. “Love. Obvious.”

Dick gave another wail from the floor, so it probably wasn’t that obvious. Alfred handed him a tissue.

Finally, Tim looked over at Bruce, only to be met with a sight that was as rare as sunlight. The Dark Knight, Keeper of Justice, Batman, The World’s Greatest Detective, had fainted.

Well, there was a first time for everything.

  


**Author's Note:**

> I might write a wedding scene sequel to this... eventually  
> Thanks for reading:)))


End file.
